As I was scrolling through social media, I came across a comment by another editor saying that “whom” should never be used because it’s obsolete. This came days after a conversation I had with a friend about something in grammar called a predicate complement. Not to get too technical, but when you use a verb form of “to be” followed by a pronoun, that pronoun should be in the subjective case. In case I’ve lost you, I’ll give you a quick example: if you’ve ever heard someone answer the phone with “This is she,” that’s technically grammatically correct.

This came up because I was talking about Taylor Swift’s song “Anti-Hero” and predicate complements. This subject makes me laugh, because “It’s me” should technically be “It’s I,” which sounds ridiculous in that song. My friend commented that if no one uses that form, is it really correct? 

I loved this comment so much that I decided to write a blog post about it. Whether to use “who” or “whom” and whether to use predicate complements boils down to what school of editorial thought you’re part of, and these two conversations really had me considering my own stance.

In editing, there are basically two ways of thinking:

1. You should edit according to the rules.

2. You should edit according to how people actually use English.

I think many editors, including myself, fall somewhere in between. I love knowing the rules, but it’s limiting as a language professional to stick to the rules in all instances because no piece of writing is the same. Authors have different voices, and texts have different audiences. If you were writing a children’s book, you wouldn’t use the same style as you would to write a dissertation, so editing, like many things, requires some nuance and flexibility based on the purpose of the text.

In all cases, it’s important to consider audience expectations. When you’re writing in a more formal register, your audience will expect you to follow certain rules, even if they’re rules without a real grammatical basis. Many people incorrectly assume that you can’t start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction (like “and” or “but”), that you can’t split an infinitive, or that you can’t end a sentence with a preposition. While these rules aren’t actually rules, if your audience considers them to be rules, you may be better off following them. However, if you choose not to follow them, the good news is that there are plenty of resources to prove that you’re right. 

So, should you use “whom”? My answer is that it depends. If you’re writing in a formal register, I would say yes. If you’re writing fiction, I would also say it depends. Are you writing in the voice of a character who loves grammar? Are you writing a historical fiction novel in the style of the time? In that case, maybe. Otherwise, maybe not. 

My general philosophy is to know your rules and to not be afraid to break them if the context calls for it. Language is beautifully fluid, and it evolves over time. The most important thing is to reach your audience with language that they will be able to understand and connect with. After all, grammar is just a tool to help you effectively communicate.