There’s something magical about spring. One day, you’re having what you don’t know is the last snowstorm of the season. Then, suddenly, you look around and the grass is a vibrant green and multicoloured flowers have burst out of lawns. Perhaps I’m woefully unobservant, which is possible, but I could have sworn those flowers weren’t there yesterday. The seasonal depression you didn’t even realize you had begins to lift. And so, while spring is my least favourite season, I have to admit that there’s some magic there.

It seems like a lifetime ago that I chose May 31 as my publication date, although, in reality, it was about nine months ago. It feels like I blinked and May charged in. 

Into Shadow will be out in the world in just three weeks, and I’m feeling a million things at once. I’m excited for people to read it, of course. I fell in love with this story as I wrote it, and I hope other people will fall in love as well. However, I’m also feeling the bundle of nerves that I’m sure comes with publishing a debut novel (What if no one reads it? What if people do read it?). I also have to accept that I’ve made mistakes in this process, ones that will hopefully help me do better next time. At this point, I need to let go of perfectionism and accept that I poured my heart and soul into this book—and that’s enough.

I picked an end-of-May publication date for several reasons. The first is that my protagonist’s birthday is in May. The second is that I imagined the events of the book beginning in June and taking place over the heat of the summer, so May seemed like a perfect time to release the book. I recently learned that May is also mental health month, so the stars aligned perfectly there. 

I wrote this book because it was the book I needed. When I first started getting manic, I couldn’t find any high fantasy books with a protagonist who had bipolar disorder. I was so scared, and I needed reassurance in the form of a book. I needed to know that people with bipolar disorder could still have adventures, fall in love, and live a full life. I didn’t need a happy book. I didn’t even need a book entirely about bipolar disorder—I just wanted a book where a character lives with bipolar, because people with mental illness deserve to do cool things like ride dragons, too. 

And I’m so proud of this book, because I did that. Not only did I give a character with bipolar a chance to shine, I explored the nuances of living with an illness like bipolar and how it can impact your self-perception and self-worth, and I wrote a proper adventure story that I’ve enjoyed reading hundreds of times. At one point, I was reading this book several times a week, not to edit it, but because I loved it. This was the book I needed, and I am hopeful that it will be a book that other people need as well.

This is a book about bipolar disorder, stigma, dragons, romance, and heroism. I wrote it in the style of the fantasy I love. It’s complex. It’s gritty. It’s political. Two of the five point-of-view characters are men, but I’ve always considered this a story with women at its focus. 

I’ve been on quite a journey with this book. We made it to the highs of being a finalist in a publisher’s contest to the lows of the query trenches and everything in between. I’ve loved this book, and I’ve doubted myself more times than I can count. But the result of all of this is a book that I’m immensely proud to be sharing with the world.

So, in this magical month of May, I hope you’ll consider searching up Into Shadow. It will be available on Amazon (print and ebook) and on Kobo (ebook) on May 31. I will officially list it within the next week or two, so stay tuned!